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Speechless, indeed!

Last post 05-24-2007 3:53 PM by Jojosh_the_Pi. 20 replies.
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  • 03-13-2007 2:14 PM

    Speechless, indeed!

    Live, until they fix it:

    http://www.microsoft.com/windows/products/windowsvista/100reasons.mspx

    Click the links.

    Screenshots forthcoming.

  • 03-13-2007 2:17 PM In reply to

    • webzter
    • Top 150 Contributor
    • Joined on 11-10-2006
    • Minneapolis, MN USA
    • Posts 202

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    What are we looking at? The fact that they can come up with 100 things that are cool about a new os?
  • 03-13-2007 2:24 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    Fixed already. Screenshots are on the way.

  • 03-13-2007 2:25 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    I presume the page had no content at one point. Though I'm inclined to think the OP's net connection was just being flaky.
    TRWTF is Community Server
  • 03-13-2007 2:25 PM In reply to

    • webzter
    • Top 150 Contributor
    • Joined on 11-10-2006
    • Minneapolis, MN USA
    • Posts 202

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    Sweet... although, 100 cool things about an OS upgrade is pretty dumb too.
  • 03-13-2007 2:37 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    I could see the highlights just fine, but when I went to click through:

    http://www.darklock.com/images/speechless1.png

    http://www.darklock.com/images/speechless2.png

    Without the "speechless" angle, it's just a momentary burp in some web scripting, but when you have a page going "Speechless! You'll be speechless! Just look how speechless you'll be!" and you click around to see... nothing... it's simply hilarious.

     

  • 03-13-2007 4:32 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    CDarklock:

    I could see the highlights just fine, but when I went to click through:

    http://www.darklock.com/images/speechless1.png

    http://www.darklock.com/images/speechless2.png

    Without the "speechless" angle, it's just a momentary burp in some web scripting, but when you have a page going "Speechless! You'll be speechless! Just look how speechless you'll be!" and you click around to see... nothing... it's simply hilarious.

     

     

    Oh, I get it! So they said they had 100 reasons you'd be speechless, then when you clicked on the links there was nothing! Get it? Speechless? Nothing on the page! Because when you're speechless, there wouldn't be anything to say!  And they didn't say anything.  So even THEY were speechless.  Get it?

    Hey, where is everybody going? 

     

  • 03-13-2007 4:54 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    No, the site still has a serious WTF, just click around. On Firefox, there is no expanding of the center column, so text extends way down past the bottom navigation and it just looks terrible.

     

    ARG! They're too quick! It's already fixed :( 

  • 03-13-2007 6:24 PM In reply to

    • Pap
    • Top 100 Contributor
    • Joined on 09-12-2006
    • Earf
    • Posts 281

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    JamesKilton:

    ARG! They're too quick! It's already fixed :( 



    You know there's a guy from Microsoft who is a member of these forums?

    Anyway, when did "bug" become synonymous with "WTF!?"
  • 03-13-2007 6:46 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    shadowman:

    Hey, where is everybody going? 

    They won't answer. They're speechless.

  • 03-13-2007 7:35 PM In reply to

    • Iago
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 01-11-2006
    • Posts 106

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    The real WTF is the actual, uh, what for want of a better word I shall charitably call the "content" of that page. As in, the things they think are going to make me speechless.

    One of the highlights, at #9 in the list, is the fact that Windows Vista supports wireless networking.

    I'm speechless.
  • 03-13-2007 10:50 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    OMG THEY INVENTED THE ATOM!!!!!!!!!

     

     

    I didn't read it all, but I bet "It processes TEXT!!!" is one of the highlights. 

  • 03-14-2007 7:23 AM In reply to

    • iwpg
    • Top 100 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-24-2006
    • Posts 258

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    Iago:
    The real WTF is the actual, uh, what for want of a better word I shall charitably call the "content" of that page. As in, the things they think are going to make me speechless.

    One of the highlights, at #9 in the list, is the fact that Windows Vista supports wireless networking.

    I'm speechless.

    I love #23, "Because it’s like a digital candy store."   WTF does that even mean?  "It's, like, uh, really good and stuff.  Give us money!"

    Filed under: , ,
  • 03-14-2007 10:50 AM In reply to

    • un.sined
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 10-13-2006
    • Federal Way, WA
    • Posts 81

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    The Real WTF is that the OP wanted to know 100 reasons (s)he'd be speechless about an OS upgrade that they already had.
  • 03-14-2007 3:12 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    What? You don't find Microsoft's marketing materials to be an endless source of amusement?

  • 03-15-2007 8:33 PM In reply to

    • aikii
    • Top 200 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-18-2006
    • Brussels
    • Posts 140

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

  • 05-22-2007 3:26 PM In reply to

    • Mal1024
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 04-02-2007
    • London, UK
    • Posts 108

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    Looks like they were speechless themselves.
    SELECT * FROM TAGS WHERE TAG_ABUSE=0
    ERROR: No tables returned.
    /dev/mal
  • 05-23-2007 10:38 AM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    Oh, some of these are good:

    96. Access your desktop wherever you go

    Yeah... been done, for a long while. Remote Desktop, VNC, ssh with X forwarding, etc.


    85. Your PC can be multilingual

    Nice... But mine can do that as well. English, Deutsch.


    72. Get the latest news delivered right to your desktop

    Nice... Ever heard of something called Akregator?


    70. Your PC is ready when you are

    Pretty much all PCs are capable of hibernate or standby.

    61. Stand strong against hackers

    Ah yes... the Windows Screen door, with advanced opportunities to screw up.



    55. Because success tomorrow starts today

    Ever heard of folders? And being organised?


    50. Get more out of the web

    Firefox has had tabbed browsing for a while, so has Opera.

    44. Because you have a need for speed

    Simply let Windows chew up even more memory.



    35. Because you'll know it when you see it

    Thumbnails, anyone? 


    31. Because your PC lets you know if something's wrong—and helps you fix it

    Uh huh... 'Click here to buy buy buy software to remove that pesky spyware.'

    26. Because you're a multitasker

    Like I said before, Firefox, et al, have tabbed browsing. Also, most *nix PCs have more than one desktop at the same time, so you can work on even more.

    25. It works with the software, hardware, and services you want

    Except if it doesn't think it's 'secure' enough, because then it'll disable it.

    24. Because you don't want to worry about spyware

      No, don't worry about the fact that your new PC is being used to send V!@gra spam to everybody, they won't mind.


    23. Because it's like a digital candy store

    What? They're giving you chocolate now? Great!

    22. See everything you're working on at a glance

    Taskbar? Hm?

    18. Create your own personal archive

    $ tar -cvvf  backup.tar home/

    $ gzip  -r9 backup.tar

    13. Because you need to know who the bad guys are

    Yes, the consumers. And anyone not drinking the Microsoft Kool-Aid.

    6. Because you're always on the run

    from the draconian Anti-pirate people, just because you wanted to watch that DVD you bought.

    5. It can find your stuff

    $ locate stuff


    3. It's the safest version of Windows ever

    Yeah... I'll believe that when I see it.

     

    Any questions?
     

    I wonder what this button does...
  • 05-23-2007 11:16 AM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    TABLES IN THE STUPID EDITOR!

    Control_Alt_Kaboom:


    85. Your PC can be multilingual

    Nice... But mine can do that as well. English, Deutsch.

    With previous versions of Windows, if you wanted to change the system language, you had to purchase an entire new copy of Windows, at the exaggerated non-OEM price. So I guess this one means "It's not quite as insanely stupid as the previous version".

     

     

    70. Your PC is ready when you are

    Pretty much all PCs are capable of hibernate or standby.

    Pretty much all ones running winxp tend to crash a lot if you use it regularly. Both the hardware and the XP implementation are astoundingly buggy. I've never tried vista to see if it's any better - but the hardware won't have magically improved.

  • 05-23-2007 12:14 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    asuffield:
    With previous versions of Windows, if you wanted to change the system language, you had to purchase an entire new copy of Windows, at the exaggerated non-OEM price. So I guess this one means "It's not quite as insanely stupid as the previous version".
    It was enough to just install a language pack (unless you already had non-english version of Windows). Practically all the OEMs around here included a language pack CD that gave you 2-13 languages (depending on OEM and time - earlier CDs had more languages).
    asuffield:
    Pretty much all ones running winxp tend to crash a lot if you use it regularly. Both the hardware and the XP implementation are astoundingly buggy. I've never tried vista to see if it's any better - but the hardware won't have magically improved.
    Before I had 3GB RAM, I used to have months of uptime while hibernating every night (my record was 190 days IIRC). I never used sleep back then though (but started using it since upgrading RAM, as with 3GB Windows would give an out-of-memory error 2 out of 3 times when trying to hibernate, and with 4GB it's unable to hibernate at all).
    Because 10 billion years' time is so fragile, so ephemeral... it arouses such a bittersweet, almost heartbreaking fondness.
  • 05-24-2007 3:53 PM In reply to

    Re: Speechless, indeed!

    Control_Alt_Kaboom:


    3. It's the safest version of Windows ever

    Note that they were careful not to say "safe", just safer than other Windows versions.  It's kinda like saying the next American president will be better than Bush. /ducks/

    “Do you know what it looks like when a child has to hopscotch without leg braces, just crawling from square to square?” - David G. Hall
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