Ellis Morning

Ellis is a Computer Science graduate who fought in the trenches of Tech Support, occasionally crossing enemy lines into the Business Analyst and Project Management spheres of war. She's now a freelance writer and author of sci-fi/fantasy adventure novels about a spacefaring knight errant on a quest for justice and enlightenment. Read more at Ellis' website.

10001 Problems

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A rat leaving a ship via the mooring rope, thus spreading th Wellcome V0010685

Our Anonymous submitter's first job was helping to support a distributed system running in a low-energy embedded platform. Interesting on its face, the platform was actually a bloated, outdated monstrosity made worse by the decision to use C++ in conjunction with a homemade (read: unsafe) binary data format.


RAM On Through

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The company Tomasz worked for launched a new device line with more RAM than the previous generation. This was supposed to put an end to the sort of memory shortages common to embedded systems. However, it wasn't long before they began hearing from clients whose systems crashed whenever they attempted to upgrade the accompanying software package.


Cases, Cases, Cases

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Illustrated fashion catalogue - summer, 1890 (1890) (14597321320)

Paul R. shows us a classic example of the sort of case statement that maybe, you know, never should've been implemented as a case statement:


Credential Helper

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302 El Born Centre Cultural, sala Casanova, claus dels calabossos de la Ciutadella

John S. worked with a customer who still owned several Windows 2008/R2 servers. Occassionally during automated management and deployments, these machines threw exceptions because they weren't configured for remote management. One day, John caught an exception on a SQL box and remoted in to address the problem.


Plurals Dones Rights

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Today, submitter Adam shows us how thoughtless language assumptions made by programmers are also hilarious language assumptions:


I Need More Space

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Beach litter, Winterton Dunes - geograph.org.uk - 966905

Shawn W. was a newbie support tech at a small company. Just as he was beginning to familiarize himself with its operational quirks, he got a call from Jim: The Big Boss.


Hard Reboot

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Every day in IT, each one of us walks the fine line between "brilliant" and "appalling." We come across things that make our jaws drop, and we're not sure whether we're amazed or horrified or both. Here's a PHP sample that Brett P. was lucky—or unlucky—enough to discover:


The Wrong Sacrifice

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pentacle




Folks, you need to choose a different sacrificial animal for your multithreading issues. Thanks to this comment Edward found in a stubborn bit of Java code, we now know the programming gods won't take our goats.


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